"You see that! That means we are the good guys."
I'm not sure I'm one of the good guys anymore, this should be interesting!
Monday, February 8, 2010
Friday, January 29, 2010
Friday, January 22, 2010
Ravus Mundus
This lack of sun is getting to me , melancholy is twisted within my soul and the rain is on the way. GREAT! Hopefully things will change soon, I saw the sun for a brief moment and thought that the revolution was here, but it's at least on the horizon.
The gods keep telling me that I need to work less, so maybe I should stop fighting them and do something more constructive with my time. That's just one of my ideas, I can get away with working less and be fine, this idea of loss in my mind from doing it just needs to go away.
The gods keep telling me that I need to work less, so maybe I should stop fighting them and do something more constructive with my time. That's just one of my ideas, I can get away with working less and be fine, this idea of loss in my mind from doing it just needs to go away.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Some people
Just don't deserve to live cause they fail at being decent human beings.
More will be written later, but now I have to run off to hellworld.
Chain Bear
Entertain yourselves with this game I happened upon while stumbling.
More will be written later, but now I have to run off to hellworld.
Chain Bear
Entertain yourselves with this game I happened upon while stumbling.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
I'm too easily distracted
These past many days have been long and cold. I haven't been able to blog like a machine because I shacked up at Ashly and Sonya's for a week. They saved me from walking in -10 degree weather. Then someone's birthday rolled around and a wedding reception. I've come to the realization that I know too many people with birthdays and also I just know too many people! Not enough time to keep up, not even with myself. Anyways, the birthday consisted of first just hanging out. The next day it was a strip club excursion, that was an interesting experience to say the least. I was underwhelmed and some were brought to tears.
Everyone should be happy to know that I'm currently back into my going out phase. Lets try and learn these moods and stick with them mmmkay? This weekend was full of events. Friday, the designated go out night was the usual save for small hiccups, but that's not my story to tell. Saturday is wonderful reception time. My friend's Michael and Jenna got married and thus naturally I had to make an appearance. It was basically cute on a stick and just as tasty too. I danced, I laughed, and met parents that clearly knew more about me than I knew of them. Too bad my mom couldn't go, she eats this shit up!
There was going to be more to this post but alas I got distracted by my roommate and current situations. I'll probably post more about that later. I can't wait for dinner tomorrow, let us hope it happens!
Everyone should be happy to know that I'm currently back into my going out phase. Lets try and learn these moods and stick with them mmmkay? This weekend was full of events. Friday, the designated go out night was the usual save for small hiccups, but that's not my story to tell. Saturday is wonderful reception time. My friend's Michael and Jenna got married and thus naturally I had to make an appearance. It was basically cute on a stick and just as tasty too. I danced, I laughed, and met parents that clearly knew more about me than I knew of them. Too bad my mom couldn't go, she eats this shit up!
There was going to be more to this post but alas I got distracted by my roommate and current situations. I'll probably post more about that later. I can't wait for dinner tomorrow, let us hope it happens!
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Winter Week
So lets start with Thursday shall we....
Everyone said it would snow, that is just something that happens around this season. I thought nothing of it. I begin my journey to work. The world looked lost and desolate , no one in sight with pitch black clouds in the sky. I should have taken heed of such an obvious warning, but alas I merrily went along to work. I get to my half way point, stopped in my tracks by the traffic light and cars zooming by me. "Oh look it's sprinkling!" My mind racing with excitement from the elements. As I'm generally amazed when it begins to do anything weather related, aside from sunny and clear skies. I get three fourths of the way to work, and it begins to start a spit fire of rain/snow. I get to work and dry off, thankful for the fact that I missed the worst of it.
All day at work I prepare myself for an onslaught of snow. This place that I usually can't wait to step out of has me begging to stay till The Gods are done with their handy work. My pride stops me from seeking out help ; it's gonna get me killed someone (just you watch). Alas, friends to the rescue - maybe they realize I wouldn't dare ask? I'm saved from my blizzard filled dreams (Not the Dairy Queen kind) as I step into the moving fortress. The world around me covered in white. The flakes mimic debris as we pass five people, one holding a baby, on the street waiting for a bus out of their current existence. "I saw a man walking down the street and wanted to pick him up, but then I realized I can't pick everyone up." Michael says calmly. I ponder this statement, wondering why we actually live in a world where the statement is true. I question why I'm numb to people that go through the same things and troubles as myself. I'm relieved and grateful that I was someone they could pick up. I'll look back on this moment and know that I'm a little loved. I'm surrounded by nothing but good energy, even when blizzards stop me in my tracks. This reminds me of the fact that I haven't done a snowfro this winter!
Alas, since the weather was dismal I stayed here in larryville. Yes, that's right ; I sat in my empty apartment for Christmas. I still beg to say it was the best decision ever. I convinced my mother that it's in her best interests to not come and get me during a blizzard... To a normal person it would be a no brainer, but to a mother it's inconceivable. I wonder if the brain overloads itself in situations like this for the parent. It's so amazing the resolve parents, at least mine, have for getting something done when it comes to their progeny. Reason won in the end, no matter how hard The Gods struggled with me on this one. The day went by fairly quickly, probably since I stayed up till 6am playing my game of thoughtless wonder only to awake at noon. Slightly refreshed, I start my day with food and the two gifts left to me by some friends. The silence of the apartment is just what the doctor ordered. Sometimes , I get overwhelmed by it all. The working in retail (where constant clamor and emotion comes at you non stop), roommate mingling, and coffee shop dates. It gets taxing as you slowly realize your feet can't keep up. The empathic code is crumbling under the pressure of so much energy, So much energy I love to devour. But this silence, my silence, cures everything. The blank slate restored yet again. Later that evening, I think of braving the weather out of boredom to visit a friend. It failed, My willpower did not match the strength of the snow. I possibly needed more pushing or in this case shoveling. The day goes on, I stay up till 4 and sleep to the sound of Puppetmaster. (I would like to be one someday.)
The fated Saturday, the day I'm supposed to go into work. I get up, talk to my mom about the days events. "I'd much prefer you call in," She says concerned and concrete, "if they don't like it ; we'll take it from there." I hang up the phone and make my way to the front door. I open it, wind gusting through, and see the world for all of its horrific beauty. Snow covers the world, as if the ice age hit twice over. I take it all in, turn around and shut the door behind me. I slowly pick up my phone, weight the decision I'm about to make and call into work. I hang up and my brain jumps for joy ; I have just given myself a three day weekend. I call my parent and relay the good news, she excited at the decision says she's coming up to give me food. One hour later, my kitchen is full of nothing but deliciousness. Homemade love on a platter. We hug, say our short good byes, and wish it could last longer. But we both know reality is too strong for now, no time to worry about the things that pop up in our heads on a whim. Unless it's of course driving across the highway to give your son a hug, a kiss, and a bag full of food.
This is ultimately the story of how I got myself a THREE FUCKING DAY WEEKEND. I love winter, even more when it snows.
Everyone said it would snow, that is just something that happens around this season. I thought nothing of it. I begin my journey to work. The world looked lost and desolate , no one in sight with pitch black clouds in the sky. I should have taken heed of such an obvious warning, but alas I merrily went along to work. I get to my half way point, stopped in my tracks by the traffic light and cars zooming by me. "Oh look it's sprinkling!" My mind racing with excitement from the elements. As I'm generally amazed when it begins to do anything weather related, aside from sunny and clear skies. I get three fourths of the way to work, and it begins to start a spit fire of rain/snow. I get to work and dry off, thankful for the fact that I missed the worst of it.
All day at work I prepare myself for an onslaught of snow. This place that I usually can't wait to step out of has me begging to stay till The Gods are done with their handy work. My pride stops me from seeking out help ; it's gonna get me killed someone (just you watch). Alas, friends to the rescue - maybe they realize I wouldn't dare ask? I'm saved from my blizzard filled dreams (Not the Dairy Queen kind) as I step into the moving fortress. The world around me covered in white. The flakes mimic debris as we pass five people, one holding a baby, on the street waiting for a bus out of their current existence. "I saw a man walking down the street and wanted to pick him up, but then I realized I can't pick everyone up." Michael says calmly. I ponder this statement, wondering why we actually live in a world where the statement is true. I question why I'm numb to people that go through the same things and troubles as myself. I'm relieved and grateful that I was someone they could pick up. I'll look back on this moment and know that I'm a little loved. I'm surrounded by nothing but good energy, even when blizzards stop me in my tracks. This reminds me of the fact that I haven't done a snowfro this winter!
Alas, since the weather was dismal I stayed here in larryville. Yes, that's right ; I sat in my empty apartment for Christmas. I still beg to say it was the best decision ever. I convinced my mother that it's in her best interests to not come and get me during a blizzard... To a normal person it would be a no brainer, but to a mother it's inconceivable. I wonder if the brain overloads itself in situations like this for the parent. It's so amazing the resolve parents, at least mine, have for getting something done when it comes to their progeny. Reason won in the end, no matter how hard The Gods struggled with me on this one. The day went by fairly quickly, probably since I stayed up till 6am playing my game of thoughtless wonder only to awake at noon. Slightly refreshed, I start my day with food and the two gifts left to me by some friends. The silence of the apartment is just what the doctor ordered. Sometimes , I get overwhelmed by it all. The working in retail (where constant clamor and emotion comes at you non stop), roommate mingling, and coffee shop dates. It gets taxing as you slowly realize your feet can't keep up. The empathic code is crumbling under the pressure of so much energy, So much energy I love to devour. But this silence, my silence, cures everything. The blank slate restored yet again. Later that evening, I think of braving the weather out of boredom to visit a friend. It failed, My willpower did not match the strength of the snow. I possibly needed more pushing or in this case shoveling. The day goes on, I stay up till 4 and sleep to the sound of Puppetmaster. (I would like to be one someday.)
The fated Saturday, the day I'm supposed to go into work. I get up, talk to my mom about the days events. "I'd much prefer you call in," She says concerned and concrete, "if they don't like it ; we'll take it from there." I hang up the phone and make my way to the front door. I open it, wind gusting through, and see the world for all of its horrific beauty. Snow covers the world, as if the ice age hit twice over. I take it all in, turn around and shut the door behind me. I slowly pick up my phone, weight the decision I'm about to make and call into work. I hang up and my brain jumps for joy ; I have just given myself a three day weekend. I call my parent and relay the good news, she excited at the decision says she's coming up to give me food. One hour later, my kitchen is full of nothing but deliciousness. Homemade love on a platter. We hug, say our short good byes, and wish it could last longer. But we both know reality is too strong for now, no time to worry about the things that pop up in our heads on a whim. Unless it's of course driving across the highway to give your son a hug, a kiss, and a bag full of food.
This is ultimately the story of how I got myself a THREE FUCKING DAY WEEKEND. I love winter, even more when it snows.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Horrible Holidays
I don't know why I've grown to despise the holidays. Lately, It has all been getting to me. Constantly working and staying later than usual makes my brain want to explode. Human etiquette is going out the window and shifting into a dark primal state. I'm doing mediocre work at a low grade job ; I always try my best. If you are in my way - You die. The want for social interaction has basically drifted out the window ; Except for one special person. Maybe I need a break or a new job. I'm hoping there's a snow storm so big that I'm forced to call into work. I've come to an executive decision that it really just isn't worth it.
Nothing hurts worse than doing shitty work at somewhere a child could probably work...the finishing blow is that you care. It' is a bit scary to slowly see yourself slipping, I hope there's something behind me to catch my fall besides my ass.
A pillow to hit my head on would be nice, Good Night!
Nothing hurts worse than doing shitty work at somewhere a child could probably work...the finishing blow is that you care. It' is a bit scary to slowly see yourself slipping, I hope there's something behind me to catch my fall besides my ass.
A pillow to hit my head on would be nice, Good Night!
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